Cansancio Nihilista

El insomnio me está matando. Permanezco despierto hasta las tres de la mañana y un poco más. Diana dice que las tres de la mañana es la hora del diablo. Hace unos días vió "The Exorcism of Emily Rose". Le dije que tal vez necesite un exorcista para que aleje de todas las gordas que acechan mi existencia, empezando por tu querida mamá. No se molestó, pero tampoco celebró; le hechó la culpa, de mi mal humor, a la falta de sueño.

Las desveladas se iniciaron el mismo día que me encontré con la "enorme" realidad de Rocío, mi ex enamorada (leer post anterior). Esa imagen totémica de ella se desmoronó. Lo cual causó un efecto dominó: todas las mujeres que tengo idealizadas, y son varías, están siendo reemplazadas y decoradas con enormes cantidades de acilglicéridos.

Marianita es la secretaria de mi jefe. Era hermosa. Tenía el cuerpo perfecto, la sonrisa imborrable y, sobretodo, una pequeña cintura que conjugaba con sus hipertensas caderas. Y digo todo esto en tiempo pasado, porque, ¡nadie me engaña otra vez! Sé que Marianita se transformará, en cualquier momento, en un hambriento Odontoceto.

Todo esto me hecho llegar a la conclusión de que: en cualquier momento Diana puede abandonar ejercicios y dietas, y regresar a su "estado grasoso". Pero lo que me ha estado perturbando más, es la idea de que Mónica, también pasé a formar parte de la marranada y... que de un momento a otro, me encuentre atrapado "sentimentalmente" a dos puerquitas.

En conclusión, siento -y presiento- que todas las flacas son gordas en potencia, y esto es una verdad atestiguada, por más psicótico que esté o parezca. Y todas las gordas... pues, ellas son los alienígenas -con empanada de queso en la mano derecha y Gatorade en la otra- que quieren exterminar a todas nuestras sílfides. Pero yo, soy prevenido. Y he decidido terminar con cualquiera de ellas a la primera hamburguesa que vea en sus bocas... Debe ser el cansancio que me hace pensar así. Pero tampoco ayuda, en nada, la fotito que me envió por mail un "querido amigo que lo sabe todo". No puedo dormir. Y si yo no puedo ustedes tampoco.

208 comentarios:

1 – 200 de 208   Más reciente›   El más reciente»
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Mónica va a terminar en eso, pero por culpa de algún firme que se encuentre. Tranquilo, los desastres de una mujer, son generalmente culpa del oficial...

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